The Fall of the Year

As some of you may know during September and October droves of people come to Vermont for "leaf peeping". With good reason.

I had to drive out to East Burke today to buy some books from their library...

Tangent:
I had one of those moments that the universe gives me to let me know I am connected and tuned in to something. Yesterday as I puttered around the shop I noticed that the perpetual stack of "Model Railroading Magazine" was no longer so unending, the bottom of the pile was visible! I thought where the heck am I going to come across more of those. I immediately saw the potential for something else on that shelf. Today at the library sale the librarian said, "Do you want some old railroading magazines?" I thought must be something similar but cannot be, but Yes oh yes more "Model Railroading"! Boxes of them in fact. The library folks were tickled that I wanted them and I was tickled that there they were just when I needed them.
Ah...coincidence.

Back to my original post:
on the drive to the library I noticed the trees. They are changing again, the fog was heavy this morning and the maples just blaze against it. There is something so tangibly real about the flaming glory of death in autumn. Walking down the street to the bank and post office I noticed the maple in the park, the trees you know don't just turn orange or yellow or red, they slowly one leaf at a time change, so they become a whirlwind of all these colors, including every shade of green, all blended into one individual oil painting of a tree in autumn. They are so perfect I ache.

As I pulled back into town from my drive "It's a beautiful morning" came on the radio. It was good to drive through town and notice so many folks out on the streets, an elderly gentleman out walking in shirt sleeves and his hunting vest, the real estate guy poking his head out of the door to holler at the guy who does the recycling. Someone wending their way down the hill, a woman walking her dog in the park...it was/is a beautiful morning.

All Politics is Personal

The election is fast approaching.

I, and many people I know, am terrified. I don't know how we will continue in this country if we don't have a big change. I don't want to preach my political views here, I just want to write about how I am feeling, which in a nutshell is scared.

A very good friend feels differently about this situation and it has been hard for me to take. We have decided to "agree to disagree" but this too is very hard for me. I feel like some education is needed (I'm sure she feels the same way). I don't want to force my opinion on her, but I don't understand how an educated intelligent woman can feel the way she does. It is frustrating and inevitably leads to more of those scary feelings.

The one and only answer that I can devise is that we as Americans and as humans need each other. We need to share with each other despite our differences. We need to hold each other, laugh together, notice each other, cry together. Men, women, black, white, able, disabled, old, young, Catholics, Jews, Muslums, Christians...the list goes on and on....mostly just humans. There is so much we can do united, and so much holding us apart.

There is no way I would let a difference of opinions shape the way I feel about my friend. We are close and will continue to be so. We need to overcome fear and isolation if any change is going to happen. The divisiveness of this election is the opposite of the direction we should head in.

This much I know is true.

The Ocean

A couple of weeks back I went to Maine to visit friends.

We took the ferry out to Peak's Island. There is something about the salt water that moves me. I stood on the boat in the deep fog and felt ancient, as if I had at one time inhabited someone else's bones. Someone who lived on the water. Someone with brown salt crusted skin, eyes half opened, seamed faced. Someone who was me or not....

I am not a great believer in things unseen...but I was moved.

Recapturing an old thought

(Self-portrait?)

John Lennon said, "Life is what happens when you are making plans."

A customer quoted this to me the other day and I've taken it to heart. I am a tried and true planner, it is a pattern developed in childhood for security, I think. I've decided to abandon it somewhat. I'm trying to focus on the here and now and truly appreciate it. I mean sure I can plan what I want for dinner or what I am going to do this weekend, but I am choosing not to live longing for that time to come. So far I think I am somewhat successful, although I find that money really gets in the way of this kind of thinking. Money takes planning for me.

I took these pictures this last weekend. A prime example of trying not to plan too much...I really wanted to be spontaneous and free this weekend. Things go so much better if I'm not attached to what I think I need. I had a really good time, just being me. I played a little, talked a little, spent time living. It's all I really want out of every day.

City Energy

It has been a while but my recent trip to Boston has inspired some thoughts.

There is something about the energy of the city that makes me feel alive in a way that I never do in the woods. It is a wild and woolly feeling..amid the rushing crowds I feel connected and oh so human. I don't think I would have this feeling if I lived there all of the time. It is an awesome feeling, literally I am awe inspired by the works of man, the mass of mankind perched together, teeming, on the edge of an ocean. As a part of that mass I feel much larger than I do in the woods. There I am aware of how infinitesimally small I really am. And against all odds I feel connected. I walk the streets making contact with others, I talk to them, especially those who are marginalized. I am aware because it is so unusual for me.

I love the architecture, it is as beautiful as the mountain ranges and pointed firs reaching skyward, a reflection really. And I love the age especially of Boston. There you can really see the decades of history, it is a real march through time and space...the cathedrals jammed in next to an all glass building, next to an iron bridge...man's thought processes all juxtaposed...

Beginning

(These pictures are unrelated to the following information. I just wanted to put them up.)



I think I found a way to begin changing the world. On July 19th I backed into someone while parallel parking. I scratched the bumper of the Saab behind me. I left a note, which someone told me not to...said it was setting myself up for a world of trouble (hey I'm paraphrasing okay?). I left the note. The guy called, I gave him the information. He was nice, I was nice. Actually I really like him and we got to talking for quite some time...what he does what I do, small business owners chit chat.

I got a call from the insurance company today. I explained what happened. The guy at the insurance company said I was a good person for leaving the note. He said if someone hit him at work no one would leave a note...

Then it happened I changed the world.

I said "Would you leave a note?"

He paused..."um..."

Maybe now he will think twice and leave the note. Maybe he will notice that the owner of the car he hit is a person. A living breathing entity, with thoughts, and FEELINGS. That we live in a world filled with people, not problems. Maybe he will get to talk to the person he hits, exchange life notes, make a connection. Similar to the connection I made with him.

I thought today I would write about community. About how important it is to me. I didn't think it would be about the car accident. In the course of rereading I realize I did write about community.

Interesting that.

What is Wrong with Today

I was on the phone with the phone company for over an hour this morning. As I was calling from my business phone, this did not please me. I know I missed book business calls. Due to an error I made combining two bills the company has overcharged me. I did not hang up, I did not harangue the people I was talking to (even though I was transferred 3 times and had to explain the situation every time!), I kept a smile in my voice for them. They have hard jobs.

The final outcome is that I got a fax...which upon reading I realized I had to send back in five days time with proof of payment...if not the whole issue would be dropped and I would be back to square one. No one on the phone told me this information, not that I would be receiving a fax or that I would have to send it back.

I feel fortunate in the fact that I am a reader, I own a small business and every penny counts I am not paying that extra money, but I think of people out in the world who don't necessarily have the same resources that I have...this is what burns my cookies. Recently a similar issue happened with my partner. He was supposed to get Workman's compensation for an injury at work. He was denied, but we were lucky in that my Mom is a Workman's compensation claim rep. so we had the inside track. We appealed and won the appeal, but if my Mother hadn't been there telling me what hoops to jump through we would be paying bills that we weren't responsible for.

I guess the point of this rant is that so often people get screwed because of red tape. They don't know how to handle the situation, don't have access to resources to help them, don't have the stamina or the time to stay on the phone for an hour and a half. Our society is not people friendly...how do we change that? How do we stay focused on the positive, notice that those are PEOPLE on the other end of the phone line? Help each other solve our problems? Companies are wary because people are trying to get out of paying their bills all the time. What happened to honesty?

I think major things could be changed here, but where do I begin?